On Marriage
Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
Read the companion to On Marriage
Context Almitra asks again, and this time she calls him “master,” a respectful word for a teacher that she has not used before. The answer is brief, and it is built almost entirely of balanced pairs that turn on “but” or “yet”: fill each other’s cup, but do not drink from one cup; give bread, but do not eat from one loaf; stand together, yet not too near. This parallel style is another echo of the King James Bible. The images come from the table (the cup and the loaf), from music (the lute) and from the landscape and the temple (the oak and the cypress, the pillars). The “you” is plural throughout, so the answer speaks to both partners at once.
In plain words (our paraphrase, not the text) Almitra asks about marriage. He tells those who marry that they came into being together and will stay together always, even after death has ended their days, even in God’s silent memory. Yet within that closeness there must be room, enough for the winds of heaven to move between them. Love each other, he says, but don’t let love become a chain; let it be like a sea moving between two shores. Fill each other’s cups and share your bread, but keep your own cup and your own loaf. Celebrate together, but let each of you remain a separate self, as a lute’s strings stay apart while they sound the same music. Give your hearts, but not for the other to hold, because only Life can hold them. Stand side by side but not pressed together, as temple pillars stand apart and an oak and a cypress each grow in their own light.
Key terms master: A respectful address for a teacher. Almitra uses it for the first time here. aye: Yes, indeed. It strengthens the promise that the two will be together even in God’s memory. lute: A plucked stringed instrument, called the ʿūd in Arabic. Its strings stay separate even while they sound one music, like the two partners. cypress: A tall, narrow Mediterranean evergreen. It and the oak grow side by side without living in each other’s shadow. Life: Only “the hand of Life” can hold the partners’ hearts. Neither of them can hold the other’s.
Connections Compare On Love: On Love says love neither possesses nor would be possessed; here that becomes a way for two people to live side by side. Compare The Coming of the Ship: Almustafa leaves because staying would bind him in a mould; here love, too, must not harden into a bond.
To reflect on Think of two people you know who are close. Where do you see the space between them, and what seems to grow there?





